Some clichés old and new, revisited.

Asked not and ye shall not be refused

A bird in the hand is 95% guaranteed to take a shit

A stitch in time is worth an entire knitted woollen sweater in space

The road of excess leads to sleeping in vomit

Never look a gift horse in the colon . They rarely survived the invasive surgery

Look! Before you walk into a tree

The wages of sin is £8.50 an hour.

No matter how much mustard you spread on shit it still tastes pretty bad.

Plant not a sperm whale in a field of corn. They tend to lose the will to live

Those who do not learn from the past have probably been taking very good drugs

It is exceedingly difficult to teach the man who thinks he is a horse, the art of being a camel.

Any magician, no matter how talented, will find it impossible to pull a white rabbit out of a rats arse.

Blessed be the humble of spirit for they shall never be gameshow presenters

If at first you don't succeed then you're probably doing it wrong.

Blessed be the meek for they need all the help they can get